Fake Apple stores story could be a fake

I can play this came...

Fake report about fake Apple stores story could be fake.

There we go...

Photo of reptile in eastern Ontario pond is a fake, say police

Good God, have people taken leave of their senses? Everyone knows there aren't any ponds in Ontario! Jeeze.

High dollar the new norm

Loose morals and liberal thinking have invaded even our banking systems.

From here on in, we should not expect bank teller to be remotely sober. In fact, if we're really lucky, they will only have imbibed the legal stuff.

Lenovo's 3 New Tablets Pack Some Surprises

An insider, on condition of anonymity, told us that Moses was a little surprised, and a whole lot pissed!

"Isn't it a little late for new commandments?" he's reported to have said. "Thou shalt not? I'm over it."

New moon found orbiting Pluto

Not even Stephanie Meyer can explain how it is that a copy of the second book in her Twilight vampire series has been found orbiting around Pluto.

It is noted, however, that the sun don't shine there much, which would suit Edward just fine!

Astronauts pack up for last shuttle ride home

... and their mothers are somewhat pissed. "The next time they go for a joyride without permission, there will be hell to pay!" one of them told us.

24 Small Towns May Lose Air Service

It's official.

A group of small towns are officially required to exist from here on in without using any oxygen.

Local authorities blame population pressure from third-world countries.



"First it was carbon tax, and now it's oxygen withdrawal. Next they'll be saying we don't warrant the provision of time, or the third dimension," said a representative, under condition of anonymity, but not dimension withdrawal. "We vow to continue, air or not!," he continued, but I could no longer see him.